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Who am I?

Who am I?

This question burns in all of us constantly, practically on an everyday basis. As seniors graduating, we go off to college to go find ourselves. During emotional events, we take time out to do some soul-searching. I believe firmly on self-reflection because it allows us to look at ourselves in the present moment. However, I have to ask “What are we looking for?”

In the Mandala, you learn to live in the present moment. As a part of the learning process, people realize they are not who they believed themselves to be. For example, I am not simply a homosexual writer. I am a being, a person with life. With each moment, depending on the situation, I am something else. People might look at me and say I’m laidback. During most moments, I may be laidback. I do lose my temper, however, especially during times of duress. Can I be considered laidback then? No.

Emotions are fluid, like water, and they can be calm and gentle depending on the environment. However, place them in a hectic environment and you’ll get a typhoon of feelings. Everything feels up when it’s down, black when it’s white, so forth and so on.

We use emotions to reflect back on a moment in time, which is why it’s important to understand how they’re fluid. If we see ourselves as independent successful people but something happens to disprove this, we become threatened and broken down by the event. We lose our sense of purpose and reasoning. However, if we saw ourselves as beings full of possibilities and expectations, we wouldn’t become disgruntled by threats to our egos.

In writing this passage, I feel I may not explain it correctly. I highly suggest you look into the Mandala of Being by Dr. Richard Moss. It’s helped me become better in touch with myself this past year. I am ever-learning and growing, and I am okay with never being the same person all the time.

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