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Getting It Out

Yesterday, I lost my driver’s license. For many, this is a simple fix: go to the local tag agency or DMV and replace your license. I unfortunately had an out-of-state driver’s license. Plus, I don’t own a car, but I was planning on buying one very soon. I cannot be insured without a driver’s license. I would have to do the driving test in the state of Ohio if I cannot procure my old license to prove it was still within time before renewal. Basically, the point is that so many things tied into this one tiny piece of plastic, and I lost it. ‘Tis the way of life, yes? Sometimes.

Of course, in my life, I’ve been feeling quite dependent upon others because I do not own a car. I have to ask for rides, depend on a bus system that rides by once an hour, and I have to schedule dates, appointments, and whatnot around the bus schedule. And I lost my damn license. I busted out crying at my boyfriend’s house because I felt like a complete failure: another stupid accident that happened because of me. A lost series of lists with me as the person incapable of being responsible enough without something always happening.

The thing of the matter is that I am always changing to find better ways to keep things from happening to me. They still manage to happen. It becomes annoying, depressing, and I’m utterly tired from trying so hard to prove to others and myself how responsible I am. I’m damn responsible. Sure, other people have it more together: their lists, their way of doing things, their enhanced ability to put all the puzzles pieces together and foresee what may happen throughout the day.

I, unfortunately, am not that person: I forget the one thing at the grocery store I needed most; I forget birthday cards sitting on my table near the door while heading out to the birthday party (without a car, I rely on someone else to take me back home to fetch the card so I’m not a dick for forgetting); I don’t always remember date times or appointments; the list goes on and on. I don’t do anything of these things on purpose. Even when I have a system, it seems to not work for me. I use my phone now to make reminders or post things on my calendar. It updates me at certain intervals of time to remind me of said event. Now, my phone is acting up and I’m forgetting all sorts of things.

So, what is the point of my entire various rants? Sometimes, you have to get it out. Write a blog, call a friend, meet up with a family member, even chat with someone online. Get it out of you because it’ll boil up over the edges and you’ll eventually spill it out on them, and they don’t deserve it. At the same time, you cannot manage in life if you’re always full of emotion. You’ll make wrong decisions, forget things, so forth and so on. Plus, it’s nice to have someone else to see a different perspective on the situation.

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